There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
