Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
