loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i used baking grease as lip gloss
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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