ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
