Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
