White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
