He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
