My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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