Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
