ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
