Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize