I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
