Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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