I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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