I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just google imaged poop.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
