in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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