I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
