they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
