I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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