After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
