I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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