At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
