If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
