I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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