when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
