We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
