I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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