Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
