I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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