Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
