with your own penis?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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