How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
