oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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