Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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