you guys were way drunker than both of me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
