am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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