Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
