Quick, to the slutcave!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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