guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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