The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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