So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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