Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
