giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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