I wish I could punch you in the face.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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