feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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