tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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