What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize