The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
