just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
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