I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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