when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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