I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
