I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
