We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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